Evening Prayer of Forgiveness

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Repentance of Mary Magdalene and Peter, El Greco, via Wikimedia Commons
 
O Lord Jesus Christ . . . .
    be merciful and forgive me, Your unworthy servant,
    if somehow I have sinned this day as a human,
    or rather as an inhuman.
Forgive my voluntary and involuntary sins,
    the ones I committed in knowledge or in ignorance,
    the ones that have been done
    out of evil influences and carelessness
    and my great indolence and negligence.
Forgive me, O Lord,
    if I have taken an oath by Your holy name
    or if I have violated my oath;
    if I have sworn in my mind
    or if I have somehow irritated You;
    if I have stolen
    or if I have lied;
    if a friend came to me and I ignored him
    or if I have distressed and embittered my brother . . . .
    if I looked upon vain beauty
    and my mind was attracted by it;
    if I was overly talkative about improper things
    or if I busied myself with faults of my brother
    and condemned him
    while overlooking my own innumerable faults;
    if I have neglected my prayer
    of if I have brought to mind any other evil thing.
Forgive me, O God,
    your useless servant,
    all these and whatever other things
    I have done and do not remember.
Have mercy on me, O Lord,
    for You are good and You love mankind,
    so that I, the prodigal one,
    may go to bed and fall asleep
    glorifying You,
    together with the Father
    and Your all-holy, good and life-creating Spirit,
    now and ever and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.

St. Ephrem the Syrian c. 306-378, Syrian hymn writer and theologian

_________________________

Psalm 130:1-4

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
     Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
    to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
    Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
    so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
___________________

Question

Thinking though today, what is something you did or didn’t do that you could ask forgiveness for?

so light that we walk on water

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Walking on Water, Ivan Aivazovsky via wikimedia commons
 
Lord Christ,
Help us to have the courage and humility to name our burdens
and lay them down
so that we are light to walk across the water
to where you beckon us. . . .

The memory of hurts and insults,
driving us to lash out,
to strike back
We name it
and we lay it down. . . .

Our antagonism against those
whose actions, differences, presence,
threaten our comfort or security
We name it
and we lay it down. . . .

We do not need these burdens,
but we have grown used to carrying them,
have forgotten what it is like to be light.

Beckon us to lightness of being,
for you show us it is not unbearable.
Only so we can close the distance.
Only so we can walk upon the water.
Blessed are you, Lord Christ, who makes heavy burdens light.

Kathy Galloway, Iona Community, Church of Scotland minister
The Complete Book of Christian Prayer

_____________________

Matthew 11:28-30 
 
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden,
   and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
   for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
   and you will find rest for your souls.  
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

_____________________

Questions

When you’ve fully forgiven someone and let go of the offence, how did it feel?
How do you understand that the burden offered by Jesus is actually light?

prayer before the prayer

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Desmond M. Tutu CC BY 2.0

 
I want to be willing to let go, to forgive.
but dare not ask for the will to forgive,
    in case you give it to me
    and I am not yet ready.
I am not yet ready for my heart to soften.
I am not yet ready to be vulnerable again.
Not yet ready to see that there is humanity in my tormentor’s eyes
    or that the one who hurt me may also have cried.
I am not yet ready for the journey.
I am not yet interested in the path.
I am at the prayer before the prayer of forgiveness.

Grant me the will to want to forgive.
Grant it to me not yet but soon
Can I even form the words?
Forgive me? Dare I even look?
Do I dare to see the hurt I have caused:
I can glimpse all the shattered pieces of that fragile thing
    that soul trying to rise on the broken wings of hope.
But only out of the corner of my eye.
I am afraid of it.
And if I am afraid to see
How can I not be afraid to say: Forgive me?

Is there a place where we can meet?
You and me
The place in the middle where we straddle the lines
Where you are right and I am right too.
And both of us are wrong and wronged.
Can we meet there?
And look for the place where the path begins
The path that ends when we forgive.
 
Desmond Tutu, 1931 – 2021 & Mpho Tutu, 1963- South African Anglican priests
 
___________________________
 
Colossians 3:12-13
 
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves,
    you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy,
    kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Make allowance for each other’s faults,
    and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

___________________________

Questions

When have you experienced forgiveness and a restored relationship with someone else?
What are some of the steps you could take to initiate a forgiveness in another relationship?

forgiveness that recreates

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
“Reconciliation” by Vasconcellos, Coventry Cathedral
​
 
Jesus’ prayer was, ‘Father, forgive them,
they know not what they do.’
A prayer born in death, writhing with pain.
A prayer risking faith, facing the sorrow.
A prayer living in hope, seeing the future.
 
My prayer was, ‘God, how can I forgive them?
They do know what they did.’
A prayer saying, ‘ It still hurts.’
A prayer wanting vengeance.
A prayer seeking direction.
 
My prayer became, ‘God, help me forgive them;
they know what they did.’
A prayer saying, ‘They were wrong.
A prayer wanting reconciliation.
A prayer seeing courage.
 
My prayer became, ‘God, forgive them;
they know what they did.’
A prayer that wrestled with injustice.
A prayer that acknowledges weakness.
A prayer that found hope in God’s love.
 
My prayer remains, ‘God, forgive them;
they know what they did.’
Because forgiveness recreates life from death.
Because forgiveness cleanses the healing wound.
Because forgiveness builds the bridge of freedom.
 
Jared P. Pingleton, Christian psychologist, author, and speaker

________________________
 
Matthew 18:18-19
 
Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven,
    and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask,
    it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

___________________

Questions:

What is one relationship that would benefit from forgiveness and renewal?
How can you “loose on earth” the hurts you’ve experienced 
    so that heaven might be brought to earth?

a broken, divided family

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Prodigal Son by Fr. Sieger Koder

 
We are a broken, divided family
of lonely individuals,
each alone;
truly, we’re not a family.
Communication with each other
seems impossible,
and love vanishes into the void.
Yet both are what we desperately need.
We all need and want
each other,
but we’re too proud to admit it,
or to confess
what we’re each to blame
for our separation,
loneliness, and pain.
We add brick upon brick
to the wall that divides
and isolates us.

You alone are our hope,
O God of our salvation.
Your love breaks down
walls that isolate and divide us.
Your love heals, forgives,
and makes us whole again.
Restore us, O God of our salvation.
Reconcile us,
that we may be a family,
and live.

Vienna Cobb Anderson, Episcopal Priest from Virginia
The Complete Book of Christian Prayer
 
__________________

Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. 
When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.  
So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 
    ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, 
    ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf 
     because he has him back safe and sound.’
The older brother became angry and refused to go in. 
So his father went out and pleaded with him. 
But he answered his father, 
    ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you 
     and never disobeyed your orders. 
    Yet you never gave me even a young goat 
     so I could celebrate with my friends. 
    But when this son of yours 
     who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, 
     you kill the fattened calf for him!’
 
__________________

Question

What relationships are broken 
    and need God to work restoration and reconciliation?

you call me back to atone

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Return of the Prodigal Son, Rembrandt via Wikimedia commons
 
 
You call me back to atone,
to return,  
when you see how I’ve drifted
and gone away…

I stray from knowing your holy presence,
but you never take your eyes off me;
you take not even one step away:
you’re beside me, behind me,
above and below me,
you’re with me, Lord, on all sides…
 
But it only takes a turn of my heart,
a twist of my thoughts
in the blink of an eye
for me to forget (or do I fear?)
how close you are in every hour
of every night and day…

I stray from your love
though you’re so close at hand
and believe, in self-pity
you no longer care…
 
I choose my own way
as you walk by my side;
you follow my steps
as I turn from your path…
 
I want my own way
and insist that I’m right;
I assign you the blame
as I count my troubles…

But you stay by my side
and give me the freedom
to take your hand or walk away
in my foolishness and my fear…
And still you remain,
right by my side,
though I close my eyes
to yours seeking mine…

But you call me back, to atone, to return,
and with all my heart, I know you’re right:
I’ve drifted, I’ve strayed, I’ve gone away,
I’m lost and need to be found…
 
Give the grace, Lord, to turn my heart,
to turn my mind and thoughts to you;
to remember and trust how close you are,
how near’s the mercy you offer…
 
Call me back to atone and return
to the outstretched arms of your love
and ready my heart to be shaped again
in the image of your heart for me…
Amen.
 
Fr. Austin Fleming, Roman Catholic Priest in Massachusetts
concordpastor.blogspot.com

______________________________
 
Luke 15:20
 
So he returned home to his father.
And while he was still a long way off,
    his father saw him coming.
Filled with love and compassion,
    he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

______________________________

Question:

When you’ve felt guilty and fearful towards God, 
    what difference would it make to know that God is near and close by,
    waiting for you to turn towards him and make things right?

sometimes I choose sin

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Ash Wednesday, Carl Spitzweg via Wikimedia Commons

 
Father – the truth about me is that often I choose sin:
    Sometimes I choose hatred.  Sometimes I choose slander.
    Sometimes I choose envy.  Sometimes I choose greed.
    Sometimes I choose pettiness.  Sometimes I choose lust.
    Sometimes I choose gossip.  Sometimes I choose pride.
    Sometimes I choose self-reliance.
    Sometimes I choose self-righteousness.
    Sometimes I choose self-aggrandizement.
    Sometimes I choose dishonesty.
    Sometimes I choose unkind words.
    Sometimes I choose to ignore the obvious needs around me.
    Sometimes I choose to hoard my resources.
    Sometimes I choose to neglect Your command to share the gospel.
The list of things I wrongly choose could go on and on.  And sometimes
I act on these things in ways that are darker than I ever care to state.
Each time I make such a choice, I choose death.
Today, I ask that You breathe life into my soul afresh
    and enable me to choose life – to choose You and Your ways.
 
Kurt Bjorklund, 1968- , American Minister and author  
 
_________________________
 
Romans 6:23
 
For the wages of sin is death,
    but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

_________________________

Question:

What is an area of sin that you are most prone to return to?

Annoint the wounds

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Good Samaritan, ​Teofilo Patini via Wikimedia Commons
 
Anoint the wounds
of my spirit
with the balm
of forgiveness.
Pour the oil
of your calm
upon the waters
of my heart

Take the squeal
of frustration
from the wheels of my passion
that the power
of your tenderness
may smooth
the way I love

That the tedium
of giving
in the risk of surrender
and the reaching
out naked
to a world
that must wound

may be kindled fresh daily
in a blaze of compassion
– that the grain may fall gladly
to burst in the ground
– and the harvest abound.

Father Ralph Wright, 1938- , Benedictine Monk St Louis Abbey
Sharing the Darkness

_____________________

Luke 10:33-34

But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was;
    and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds,
    pouring on oil and wine.
Then he put the man on his own donkey,
    brought him to an inn and took care of him.

_________________________

Questions

When have you been wounded caring for another person’s needs? 
Can you trust God to minister to your wounds in these times?

Have mercy on me, O God

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Good Samaritan, Aimé Morot, via Wikimedia Commons
 
I am the man who fell among thieves,
   even my own thoughts;
they have covered all my body with wounds,
   and I lie beaten and bruised,
But come to me, O Christ my Savior, and heal me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

The priest saw me first,
   but passed by on the other side;
the Levite looked on me in my distress,
   but despised my nakedness.
O Jesus, sprung from Mary, do Thou come to me and take pity on me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

O Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of all,
   take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

It is time for repentance: to Thee I come, my Creator.
Take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.


Frederica Mathewes-Green, 1952- , American Orthodox author and speaker
_____________________

Ephesians 2:3-6

All of us used to live that way, 
    following the passionate desires and inclinations 
    of our sinful nature. 
By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, 
    just like everyone else.

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 
    that even though we were dead because of our sins, 
    he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. 
(It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 
For he raised us from the dead along with Christ 
    and seated us with him in the heavenly realms
    because we are united with Christ Jesus.

_________________________

Question

What is an area of your life where you need to cry out to God
     for mercy and forgiveness?

True Enlightenment

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

The Apparition of the Messiah, Alexander Andreyevich Ivanov, via Wikimedia Commons

 
Why can’t I retreat into a mountain
and enjoy the rest of my life, sipping wine,
looking at the moon and making haiku
like the one “enlightened”?

However hard and long I may raise
my insignificant voice of anger,
I know I cannot stop this stream;
but I cannot give up.

Those who attained perfect enlightenment
yell at me from this world and the other,
“Hey! You have been a Christian for a
long time.  How come you are not awakened yet!”

I do not want to attain enlightenment in the Buddhist sense.
My enlightenment is to follow Christ and go into the world.
I do not want to separate myself from the world.
And in the face of mounting injustice and misery,
I would like to live with those suffering people,
because Christ lives with them.

I often get lost, get angry, worry and make cries of protest,
but Christ is with me and soothes me.

Yorifumi Yaguchi, 1932- , Japanese Mennonite poet and pastor
Readings from Mennonite Writings New & Old

__________________________

Luke 6:20-22 

Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said,

“God blesses you who are poor,
for the Kingdom of God is yours.
God blesses you who are hungry now,
for you will be satisfied.
God blesses you who weep now,
for in due time you will laugh.

What blessings await you when people hate you 
    and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil
    because you follow the Son of Man.”

__________________________

Questions

Who is someone in your neighborhood that could use your help? 
What is the need you can meet?