I long for a firsthand touch

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, Caravaggio via Wikimedia Commons
 
How easily, O Christ,
   do I long for a firsthand touch
   from you, my friend and savior,
   risen and glorious, victorious over death,
   radiant with luminous life.
O, how easily does my yearning arise
   to have been one of those in the upper room
   when you returned in resurrected form.
I know that my faith would be strong
   if, like Mary in the garden,
   I had reached out to hug your living presence
   on Easter morning.
I do not doubt the quality of my zeal
   had I broken bread with you
   at the sunset inn on Emmaus road.
It’s not easy to be among the living faithful
   fed by second-hand accounts
   of your resurrection visits,
   even though they have been passed on with loving care
   for millennia mouth-to-mouth.
But I take hope today, in this Easter season,
   that I too can taste and feel
   your fulfilled promise:
   “I am with you always; even to the end.”
Every time I break bread with friends or strangers
   or encounter kindness on my daily byroads,
   when I am visited by you
   even though my inner doors are locked in fear,
   let my heart be as open as the horizon
   for the feast of an Easter visit
   from you, my Risen Savior.

Edward Hayes, 1931 – 2016, Catholic Priest, Kansas City

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Luke 24:30-32

When he was at table with them, 
    he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. 
And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. 
And he vanished from their sight. 
They said to each other, 
    “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, 
     while he opened to us the Scriptures?”

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Questions

Do you ever hope for an intimate, Emmaus road kind of encounter with Jesus 
    when you participate in worship services?
During what parts of a worship service do you feel God’s presence most prevalently?

The New Commandment

Christ Washing the Feet of His Disciples, Unknown author c. 1210, Wikimedia Commons
 
Jesus, you gave us the new command to love each other
    just as you loved your disciples.
We are eager to imitate you in loving our brothers and sisters, but like Peter,
    our efforts are often more words and good intentions
        than action and sacrifice…
We want to offer ourselves fully in friendship
    but when the relationship becomes costly we disengage.
We want to reach out to those different from ourselves
    but tend to stay within our safe routines.
And when relationships lead to hurt or betrayal
    we withdraw to protect ourselves
    and fail to keep your commandment.
You know this about us.
You know that we are weak and made of dust.
 
Oh, pour out an extra measure of faith upon us!
Empower us with the supernatural ability to love 
    just as you loved.
 
But more than that, bless our flawed, timid expressions
    and communicate them through your Holy Spirit,
    so that those who we begin to love,
    know that, in fact, they are loved
    completely
    by you
just as you loved your disciples, and us, unto the end.
 
Eric Mathews
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John 13:1, 34
 
It was just before the Passover Festival.
Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father.
Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
 
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  
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Questions

When have you experienced the love of Jesus through another person?
Who is someone you can show the love of Jesus to?

Grave cloths that bind me

Resurrection of Lazarus by Henry Ossawa Tanner via Wikimedia Commons
 
Our Father in heaven, I thank you that you have led me into the light.
I thank you for sending the Savior to call me from death to life.
I confess that I was dead in sin before I heard his call,
    but when I heard him, like Lazarus, I arose.
But, O my Father, the old grave cloths bind me still.
Old habits that I cannot throw off,
    old customs that are so much part of my life
    that I am helpless to live the new life that Christ calls me to live.
Give me strength, O Father, to break the bonds;
    give me courage to live a new life in you;
    give me faith to believe that with your help I cannot fail.
And this I ask in the name of the Savior
    who has taught me to come to you.

prayer from Taiwan
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John 11:38-44 

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. 
It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 
    “Take away the stone,” he said.
    “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, 
    “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”  
Then Jesus said, 
    “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. 
Then Jesus looked up and said, 
“Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, 
    but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, 
    that they may believe that you sent me.”

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, 
    “Lazarus, come out!”  
The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, 
    and a cloth around his face.  
Jesus said to them, 
    “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

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Questions

What experiences from your past still bind you 
    and prevent you from following God as you know you should?

obeying the call to follow

Down the mountain, Mike Moyes

 
Lord, you see my sins more clearly
than I can myself;
you know when I am untruthful
and when I think evil of others.
You see my anger
and unfairness to my friends.
You know how hard it is for me to forgive.

Lord, you know
when I am indifferent
to your Word, the Bible;
how often I forget
to pray;
the times I come unwillingly
to worship;
and yet I turn to you,
when I am in trouble.

Lord, I have sinned,
without considering how much
you love me.

Forgive me and make me clean,
so that I can obey your call
to take up your cross
and follow you.

Maureen Edwards, missionary to Kenya
Prayers Encircling the World

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John 11:14-16

Then Jesus told them plainly,
“Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there,
so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”
So Thomas, called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples,
“Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

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Question

When have you followed God’s call for your life, 
    even when you didn’t want to completely?

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

Christ heals a Demoniac, Jean-Guillaume Carlier via Wikimedia Commons
 
​Lord, I want to love you, yet I’m not sure.

    I want to trust you, yet I’m afraid of being taken in.
    I know I need you, yet I’m ashamed of the need.
    I want to pray, yet I’m afraid of being a hypocrite.
    I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
    I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
    Take me, Lord, yet leave me alone.
    Lord, I do believe; help my unbelief.
O Lord, if you are there, you do understand, don’t you?
Give me what I need but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don’t let me despair.
    Come unto me, O Lord – I want you there.
    Lighten my darkness – but don’t dazzle me.
    Help me to see what I need to do and give me strength to do it.
O Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.
 
Brother Bernard SSF, 1928-2007, English Franciscan
The Oxford Book of Prayer


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Mark 9:20-24 
 
And they brought the boy to him.
And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy,
    and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father,
    “How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood.
    And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him.
    But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
And Jesus said to him,
    “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said,
    “I believe; help my unbelief!”

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Questions

When have you prayed, needing God to do something big,
  but were unsure if your request was within God’s will and purpose?
Have you ever approached God with a real need but were unsure of how to pray?  

if you want me to believe in you

The Hem of His Garment, via Pinterest

 
My God, I do not love you,
I do not even desire it.
I am weary of you.
Perhaps I do not even believe in you.
But look on me in passing.
Hide yourself for a moment in my soul,
  put it in order by a breath
  without my knowing it,
  without saying a word of it to me.
If you want me to believe in you,
  give me faith.
If you want me to love you,
  give me love.
I do not have any and I can do nothing for it.
I give you what I have:
  my weakness,
  my sorrow.
  And that tenderness which torments me
  and that you see so well…
  And that despair…
  And that crazy shame…
  My pain, nothing but my pain…
  And my hope!
It is everything.

Marie Noël, 1883 – 1967, French Catholic poet
The Westminster Collection of Christian Prayers

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Mark 5:25-34

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 
She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors 
    and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  
When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd 
    and touched his cloak, because she thought, 
        “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 
Immediately her bleeding stopped 
    and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. 
He turned around in the crowd and asked, 
    “Who touched my clothes?”
“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, 
    “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 
Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, 
    came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, 
    told him the whole truth.
He said to her, 
    “Daughter, your faith has healed you.  
     Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
 
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Question

When have you been desperate for God to intervene in your life or the life of someone close to you?

Sin’s True Colors

 
Lord God,
when the devil presents the bait,
    show us the hook.
When the devil presents the golden cup
    show the poison hidden inside.
When the devil presents the sweet pleasure of sin,
    show us the misery that will follow.
When the devil presents the profit of yielding to sin,
    show us the wrath that comes from committing it.
When Satan promises the soul honor and profit,
    give us eyes to see the shame and loss he delivers.
Strengthen our resolve
    that we keep at the greatest possible distance from sin,
    and not play with the golden bait held out by Satan.
 
May we tremble at sin, and keep our distance from it.
Give us eyes to see that sin is a bitter sweet
    whose sweetness quickly vanishes,
     replaced by lasting shame, sorrow, horror and terror.
May we fear to lose
    that divine favor that is better than life,
        that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory,
            that peace that passes understanding,
                those divine influences by which our souls
                are refreshed, raised and gladdened.
 
Help us to see when Satan paints sin with virtue’s colors:
    when pride is called neatness and cleanliness,
    when covetousness is called good stewardship,
    when drunkenness is called good company,
    when a lack of self-control is called liberality,
    and when wild living is called youthful tricks.
Help us to see through the deceits of sin.
Help us to see sin as one day we will see it:
    when what once appeared sweet will appear most bitter,
    what once appeared beautiful will appear most ugly,
    what once appeared delightful will appear most dreadful.
 
Gracious Father, may we reckon the true price of our sin:
    that it cost the best blood, the noblest blood,
        the life-blood, the heart-blood of our Lord Jesus.
 
Thomas Brooks, 1608–1680, English Puritan preacher and author
 
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Submit yourselves therefore to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
 

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Defend the cradle of my mind

The Three Wise Men, by Henry Ossawa Tanner, via Wikimedia Commons
 
Come closer to me, closer still, O Power of the Holy Trinity.  
Enter into my consciousness more deeply 
    than thoughts and emblems of the world can.
In the same way as a wise mother, when she conceives,
    prepares and embellishes a cradle for her child,
    so prepare and embellish my mind for that which will be begotten from You,
    O Beauty and Purity.

Many evil thoughts lurk like serpents around the cradle of Your Son.
And many wicked desires emerge from my heart and seek the cradle of Your Prince,
    to poison Him with their arrows.

Defend the cradle of my mind,
    and teach my soul how to give birth and care for an infant.

Shroud in deep darkness 
    the journey of all malevolent visitors coming to see my newborn son.
And raise aloft a most radiant star 
    over the way of the Wise Men from the East,
    men who are truly wise, 
    because they are coming to visit my most precious child with three gifts—
    faith, hope, and love.

Come closer to me, still closer, my majestic Lord.

Nikolai Velimirovich 1881-1956 Serbian Orthodox monastic
Prayers by the Lakesource, edited
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Matthew 2:9-12

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, 
    and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them 
   until it stopped over the place where the child was. 
When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 
On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, 
    and they bowed down and worshiped him. 
Then they opened their treasures 
    and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. 
And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, 
    they returned to their country by another route.
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How is your mind vulnerable to harmful thought patterns?
How can reflecting on the personhood of Jesus help protect your thought life?

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Becoming Real Human Beings

The Nativity, ​El Greco, via Wikimedia Commons
 
You became human, really human.
While we endeavor to grow out of our humanity,
    to leave our human nature behind us,
    You became human,
    and we must recognize that You want us also to be human –
    really human.
Whereas we distinguish between the godly and the godless,
    the good and the evil, the noble and the common,
    You love real human beings without distinction. . . .
    You take the side of real human beings and the real world
        against all their accusers. . . .
 
But it’s not enough to say that You take care of human beings.
This sentence rests on something
    infinitely deeper and more impenetrable,
    namely, that in the conception and birth of Jesus Christ,
    You took on humanity in bodily fashion.
You raised your love for human beings
    above every reproach of falsehood and doubt and uncertainty
    by yourself entering into the life of human beings as a human being,
    by bodily taking upon yourself
    and bearing the nature, essence, guilt, and suffering of human beings.
 
Out of love for human beings, You became a human being.
You do not seek out the most perfect human being
    in order to unite with that person.
Rather, You take on human nature as it is.
 
after Dietrich Bonhoeffer 1906 – 1945 German Lutheran theologian and martyr

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John 1:14

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us,
    and we have seen his glory,
    glory as of the only Son from the Father,
    full of grace and truth.
 
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How do you value your own humanity 
   in light of the reality that God chose to become a human being?

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help us walk with Joseph

The Dream of Saint Joseph, Champaigne, c.1642, The National Gallery UK
 
Help us to walk with Joseph
   into the darkness,
   the not knowing.
Having to marry the mystery
   before everything else.
Surrendering all claim
   to outcomes or knowledge of them,
committing to the love at hand,
   and it was enough.
The very undoing that confounded him
   was the love that found him.
The answer he sought was no answer,
   but only presence,
this woman who also could not be afraid,
this child who could not be revealed
   until after he said yes,
this God, who was not at the end of the journey
   but his companion on the journey
   and the dark road itself, Emmanuel.

We have to say yes
   before anything, don’t we?
Joseph, walk with me.

Steve Garnaas-Holmes, American Methodist pastor
unfoldinglight.net
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Matthew 1:20

But after he had considered this,
an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
“Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife,
    because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
 
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When has God brought you to a place that was unknown to you?  
Looking back, how did God shape you on the journey?

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