Lent

I fly to you for refuge

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
photo by jonathan emili via pexels.com
 
 
I fly to you for refuge, blessed Christ, my only redeemer and savior.
My sins are certainly great.
But greater still is the payment you have made for them.
 
Great is my unrighteousness, but greater by far is your righteousness.
I admit my sin.
Please, in your grace, would you pay its penalty?
I reveal the sin, in your mercy conceal it.
With remorse I uncover it; please hide it, in your grace.
 
There is nothing in me but sin that deserves your condemnation.
But in you there is nothing but grace that gives me a blessed hope of salvation.
 
I hear a voice in scripture which tells me to hide in the clefts of the rock.
You are the rock that cannot be moved, and your wounds are those clefts.
In them I will hide from the accusations of the world.
 
My sins cry aloud to heaven for vengeance,
    but still more loudly cries out your blood shed for my sins.
 
My sins accuse me before God, 
    but your suffering is mightier for my defense.
My horribly wicked life calls for my condemnation,
    but your holy and righteous life pleads more powerfully still for my salvation.
I appeal from the throne of your justice to the throne of your mercy.
I have no desire to come before your judgment –
    unless your holy merit intervenes between me and your sentence.
 
Have mercy on us, only God of mercy,
    and turn our stony hearts to you! Amen!
 
Johann Gerhard, 1582 – 1637, Lutheran church leader and theologian
 
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Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
    for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress where I will not be shaken.
My victory and honor come from God alone.
    He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
O my people, trust in him at all times.
    Pour out your heart to him,
    for God is our refuge. 

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Have mercy on my darkness, my ashes

/ Eric Mathews / 2 Comments
photo by Elvis Bekmanis on Unsplash

 
Lord, have mercy.
Have mercy on my darkness, my weakness, my confusion.
Have mercy on my infidelity, my cowardice, my turning about in circles,
    my wandering, my evasions.
I do not ask anything but such mercy, always, in everything, mercy.
My life here at Gethsemani – a little solidity and very much ashes.
 
Almost everything is ashes.
What I have prized most is ashes.
What I have attended to least is, perhaps, a little solid.
 
Lord have mercy.
Guide me, make me want again to be holy,
    to be a man of God even though in desperateness and confusion.
I do not necessarily ask for clarity, a plain way,
    but only to go according to Your love,
    to follow your mercy, to trust in Your mercy.
 
Thomas Merton, 1915 – 1968, American Catholic writer and Trappist monk
 
_______________________
 
 
To you, Lord, I called;
    to the Lord I cried for mercy:
“What is gained if I am silenced,
    if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
    Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
    Lord, be my help.”

You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
 

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have mercy and cleanse me

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
photo by Zeynep Yilmaz via pexels
 
 
Have mercy on me, O life-giver, through your goodness.
In your great tenderness soothe away my faults.
Cleanse me of my guilt,
    do not hold my failures against me.
For I have come to see that I fail you,
    when I have not acknowledged with my whole being
    that I am made truly in your image;
    in not walking in your ways I have sinned against you.
You are love and truth itself
    and seek sincerity of heart;
  teach me the secrets of wisdom.
Cleanse me from all that prevents me
    from listening to your word.
 
Ianthe Pratt, organizer of Catholic women’s activities in London
____________________________
 
 
Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

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mourning my sin

/ Eric Mathews / 2 Comments

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

 
Eternal Father,
You are good beyond all thought,
    but I am vile, wretched, miserable, blind;
My lips are ready to confess,
    but my heart is slow to feel,
    and my ways reluctant to amend.
I bring my soul to you;
    break it, wound it, bend it, mold it.
Unmask to me sin’s deformity,
    that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.
My natural abilities have been a weapon of revolt against you;
    as a rebel I have misused my strength,
    and served the foul adversary of your kingdom.
 
Give me grace to mourn my unconscious folly.
Grant me to know that the way of transgressors is hard,
    that evil paths are wretched paths,
    that to depart from you is to lose all good.
I have seen the purity and beauty of your perfect law,
    the happiness of those in whose hearts you reign,
    the calm dignity of the walk to which you call,
         yet I daily violate and condemn your precepts.
 
All these sins I mourn, lament, and for them cry pardon.
Work in me a more profound and abiding repentance;
Give me the fullness of a godly grief that trembles and fears,
    yet ever trusts and loves,
    which is ever powerful and ever confident;
Grant that through the tears of repentance may see more clearly
    the brightness and glories of your saving cross.
 
 
__________________________
 
 
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, 
    but worldly sorrow brings death. 
See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: 
    what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, 
    what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. 

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beginning Lent

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image via Pexels
 
 
Loving Lord,
at the beginning of this Lenten season,
we are met with the challenge of handing over
every bit of our lives that do not come from You.
To rid ourselves of what clutters our lives,
and all that distracts us from the simple truth
of Your love for us.
 
Your prophets have called us to change the way we worship—
to make internal sacrifices instead of external ones.
To seek justice, and love kindness,
and walk humbly with You
each and every one of our days.
 
If we don’t give anything up for Lent,
then let us at least give up this:
that we might cease living in ways that disconnect us from You,
for every one of our steps is like a circle around Your temple.
Perhaps this Lent,
we can give up our way
and give ourselves to Your way for us.
 
So, lead and guide us on this Lenten way.
May we walk with Jesus toward the hill just outside of Jerusalem.
May we like Him take up our cross and follow,
spending each moment of our lives living responsively to You,
just as Christ Himself did.
For that is the faithful way. 
Amen
 
Patrick Ryan, Presbyterian pastor in West Virginia.
 
___________________________
 
 
Then he said to the crowd, 
“If any of you wants to be my follower, 
    you must give up your own way, 
    take up your cross daily, 
    and follow me. 
If you try to hang on to your life, 
    you will lose it. 
But if you give up your life for my sake, 
    you will save it.
 

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to learn repentance and avoid sin

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Photo by fauve othon on Unsplash

 
Lord Christ, grant to us your servants 
    the blessing of learning the discipline of repentance.
And as we learn repentance, 
    it is also good for us to learn to avoid sin –
    so we will have no need to repent.
 
Those who have escaped a shipwreck 
    generally tend to avoid ships and the sea in the future.
By keeping fresh the memory of disaster,
    they honor the second chance you gave them.
They honor their deliverance,
    and are not willing to tempt your mercy all over again.
 
We have escaped once.
Now let us allow ourselves to experience sin’s danger that far only –
    and no farther!
Even if it seems that chances are good for us to escape a second time.
 
Tertullian, c. 155 AD – c. 220 AD, Theologian from Carthage, North Africa
 
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I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, 
    for I know it was painful to you for a little while. 
Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, 
    but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. 
It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, 
    so you were not harmed by us in any way. 
For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin 
    and results in salvation. 
There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. 
But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
 

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Drive me deep to face myself

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image by Ümit Bulut umit, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons
 
 
Lord, grant me your peace,
    for I have made peace
        with what does not give peace,
            and I am afraid.
Drive me deep, now,
    to face myself so I may see
that what I truly need to fear is
    my capacity to deceive
        and willingness to be deceived,
    my loving of things
        and using of people,
    my struggle for power
        and shrinking of soul,
    my addiction to comfort
        and sedation of conscience,
    my readiness to criticize 
        and reluctance to create,
    my clamor for privilege
        and silence at injustice,
    my seeking for security
        and forsaking the kingdom.
Lord, grant me your peace.
Instill in me such fear of you
    as will begin to make me wise,
and such quiet courage
    as will enable me to begin to make
        hope visible,
            forgiving delightful,
        loving contagious,
            faith liberating,
        peace making joyful
            and myself open and present
            to other people
            and your kingdom.
 
Ted Loder, born 1930, American Methodist minister
 
______________________________
 
 
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. 
Not as the world gives do I give to you. 
Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

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Gather me into your loving arms, O Lord

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
 
Dear Father: How it must crush you when I turn my back on you and walk away.
How you must weep when you see me disappear over a far horizon
    to squander my life in a distant country.
Thank you that although I have sometimes left home,
    I have never left your heart.
Though I have forgotten about you,
    you have never forgotten about me.
Thank you for the financial crisis or the famine or the pigsty
    or whatever it took to bring me to my senses.
And thank you that even though what brought me home 
    were pangs of hunger instead of pangs of conscience,
    yet still, even on those terms, you welcome me back.
Thank you for the forgiveness and the restoration you have lavished on me –
    me, the one who needed them most but deserved them least.
 
I confess that there is inside me not only the prodigal son,
    but also a critical older brother.
How dutiful I have sometimes been, 
    and yet so proud of the duties I have done.
How generous I have been in my opinion of myself,
    and yet so judgmental in my opinion of others.
How often I have entered into criticism,
    and yet how seldom I have entered into your joy.
 
Gather both the prodigal part of myself and the critical part of myself
    in your loving arms, O Lord.  And bring them home.
 
Ken Gire, American author and speaker
 
_____________________________
 
 
‘For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; 
    he was lost and is found.’ 
So they began to celebrate.

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Loss is indeed our gain

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
The pushing and shoving of the world is endless.
    We are pushed and shoved.
    And we do our fair share of pushing and shoving
        in our great anxiety.
    And in the middle of that
        you have set down your beloved suffering son
        who was like a sheep led to slaughter
        who opened not his mouth.
    We seem not able,
    so we ask you to create the spaces in our life
    where we may ponder his suffering
    and your summons for us to suffer with him,
    suspecting that suffering is the only way to come to newness.
So we pray for your church in these Lenten days,
    when we are driven to denial —
        not to notice the suffering,
        not to engage it,
        not to acknowledge it.
So be that way of truth among us
    that we should not deceive ourselves.
That we shall see that loss is indeed our gain.
We give you thanks for that mystery from which we live.
Amen.
 
Walter Brueggemann, 1933 -,  American Protestant Old Testament theologian
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For to this you have been called, 
    because Christ also suffered for you, 
    leaving you an example, 
so that you might follow in his steps.

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desiring you with my whole heart

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
 
Give me grace, O my Father,
    to be utterly ashamed of my own reluctance.
Rouse me from sloth and coldness,
    and make me desire you with my whole heart.
Teach me to love 
    meditation, sacred reading and prayer.
Teach me to love 
    that which must engage my mind 
         for all eternity.
 
John Henry Newman, 1801-1890, English Catholic priest and poet
 
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You will seek me and find me, 
    when you seek me with all your heart.

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