darkness

Lord, I sometimes wander away from you

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Lost Sheep, William James Webbe via Wikimedia Commons
 
Lord, I sometimes wander away from you.
But this is not because I am deliberately turning my back on you.
It is because of the inconstancy of my mind.
I weaken in my intention to give my whole soul to you.
I fall back into thinking of myself as my own master.
But when I wander from you,
   my life becomes a burden,
      and within me I find nothing
         but darkness and wretchedness,
            fear and anxiety.
So I come back to you,
   and confess that I have sinned against you.
And I know you will forgive me.

Aelred of Rievaulx, c. 1109-1167, Abbot of Rievaulx in northern England
2000 Years of Prayer

______________________

Psalm 32:1-5 

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
    whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
    and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
    my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
I acknowledged my sin to you,
    and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”
    and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.

______________________

Question

What would help you to evaluate your heart 
    and confess your sins to God on a more regular basis?

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Christ heals a Demoniac, Jean-Guillaume Carlier via Wikimedia Commons
 
​Lord, I want to love you, yet I’m not sure.

    I want to trust you, yet I’m afraid of being taken in.
    I know I need you, yet I’m ashamed of the need.
    I want to pray, yet I’m afraid of being a hypocrite.
    I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
    I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
    Take me, Lord, yet leave me alone.
    Lord, I do believe; help my unbelief.
O Lord, if you are there, you do understand, don’t you?
Give me what I need but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don’t let me despair.
    Come unto me, O Lord – I want you there.
    Lighten my darkness – but don’t dazzle me.
    Help me to see what I need to do and give me strength to do it.
O Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.
 
Brother Bernard SSF, 1928-2007, English Franciscan
The Oxford Book of Prayer


______________________
 
Mark 9:20-24 
 
And they brought the boy to him.
And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy,
    and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father,
    “How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood.
    And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him.
    But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
And Jesus said to him,
    “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said,
    “I believe; help my unbelief!”

________________

Questions

When have you prayed, needing God to do something big,
  but were unsure if your request was within God’s will and purpose?
Have you ever approached God with a real need but were unsure of how to pray?  

sometimes I choose sin

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Ash Wednesday, Carl Spitzweg via Wikimedia Commons

 
Father – the truth about me is that often I choose sin:
    Sometimes I choose hatred.  Sometimes I choose slander.
    Sometimes I choose envy.  Sometimes I choose greed.
    Sometimes I choose pettiness.  Sometimes I choose lust.
    Sometimes I choose gossip.  Sometimes I choose pride.
    Sometimes I choose self-reliance.
    Sometimes I choose self-righteousness.
    Sometimes I choose self-aggrandizement.
    Sometimes I choose dishonesty.
    Sometimes I choose unkind words.
    Sometimes I choose to ignore the obvious needs around me.
    Sometimes I choose to hoard my resources.
    Sometimes I choose to neglect Your command to share the gospel.
The list of things I wrongly choose could go on and on.  And sometimes
I act on these things in ways that are darker than I ever care to state.
Each time I make such a choice, I choose death.
Today, I ask that You breathe life into my soul afresh
    and enable me to choose life – to choose You and Your ways.
 
Kurt Bjorklund, 1968- , American Minister and author  
 
_________________________
 
Romans 6:23
 
For the wages of sin is death,
    but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

_________________________

Question:

What is an area of sin that you are most prone to return to?

My Ego is like a Fortress

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Photo by Margarida CSilva on Unsplash  

 
My ego is like a fortress.
I have built its walls stone by stone
To hold out the invasion of the love of God.
But I have stayed here long enough.  There is light
Over the barriers. O My God-
The darkness of my house forgive
And overtake my soul.
I relax the barriers.
I abandon all that I think I am,
All that I hope to be,
All that I believe I possess.
I let go of the past,
I withdraw my grasping hand from the future,
And in the great silence of this moment,
I alertly rest my soul.
As the sea gull lays in the wind current,
So I lay myself in the spirit of God.
My dearest human relationships,
My most precious dreams,
I surrender to His care.
All that I have called my own
I give back.  All my favorite things
Which I would withhold in my storehouse
From his fearful tyranny,
I let go.
I give myself
Unto Thee, O my God.
    Amen.

Howard Thurman, 1899-1981, African-American theologian civil rights leader
Say Amen! The African American Family’s Book of Prayers

______________________

Psalm 51:17

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

______________________
 
Questions:

When you project your own ego, what do you think it looks like to other people?    

To God?

Jesus, Enter this Dark World again

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Massacre of the Innocents, ​Giotto, via Wikimedia Commons
 
Dear Jesus,

It’s a good thing you were born at night. 
This world sure seems dark. 
I have a good eye for silver linings. 
But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord. 
These children, Lord. 
Innocence violated. 
Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. 
Trigger-happy. Ticked off. 
We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. 
Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. 
But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. 
The shepherds were nightshift workers. 
The Wise Men followed a star. 
Your first cries were heard in the shadows. 
To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. 
It was dark. 
    Dark with Herod’s jealousy. 
    Dark with Roman oppression. 
    Dark with poverty. 
    Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. 
Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. 
You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. 
Won’t you enter ours? 
We are weary of bloodshed. 
We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. 
We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,
Your Children

Max Lucado, 1955-, Texas pastor and author, written after the Sandy Hook shootings, 2012
source: Christian Post
 
______________________________

Matthew 2:16-18

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious,
    and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity
    who were two years old and under, 
    in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.
 
Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:
  “A voice is heard in Ramah,
      weeping and great mourning,
  Rachel weeping for her children
      and refusing to be comforted,
      because they are no more.”
 
______________________________

Where is a dark place in your world where Jesus needs to enter anew?

Continue reading →

Shine your Light through us

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Stained Glass Window via flickr CC BY 2.0​
 
O God, this Advent season is a time
   when your light radiates through the world.
Inasmuch as we can,
   let us be bright for you.

Shine your light through us
   as though we were pieces of stained-glass window.
Flow through us into others
   as the warm glow of colors seeps into a church.

Fill us with your light
   as though we were lighthouses on the shore.
Use us to guide others
   and to keep them from danger.

Set us aflame with your light
   as though we were candles, even candles in a storm.
Enable us to burn steadily with your fiery spirit
   and to push aside all forms of darkness.

Turn us on with your light
   as though we were Christmas bulbs
   all connected to one another.
Help us as a community of faith to celebrate
   the sparkling good news of your Son’s coming birth.

Be present with us, God, throughout the Advent season
   as we live and worship in our wait
for the One who is the world’s light.
   Amen

Glen Raisley
_____________________________

Isaiah 60:1-3

Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
    and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
_____________________________

How can you join with others in shining the Light of Jesus? 

help us walk with Joseph

/ Eric Mathews / 1 Comment
The Dream of Saint Joseph, Champaigne, c.1642, The National Gallery UK
 
Help us to walk with Joseph
   into the darkness,
   the not knowing.
Having to marry the mystery
   before everything else.
Surrendering all claim
   to outcomes or knowledge of them,
committing to the love at hand,
   and it was enough.
The very undoing that confounded him
   was the love that found him.
The answer he sought was no answer,
   but only presence,
this woman who also could not be afraid,
this child who could not be revealed
   until after he said yes,
this God, who was not at the end of the journey
   but his companion on the journey
   and the dark road itself, Emmanuel.

We have to say yes
   before anything, don’t we?
Joseph, walk with me.

Steve Garnaas-Holmes, American Methodist pastor
unfoldinglight.net
_________________________________

Matthew 1:20

But after he had considered this,
an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
“Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife,
    because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
 
_________________________________
 
When has God brought you to a place that was unknown to you?  
Looking back, how did God shape you on the journey?

Continue reading →

bring Life and Peace to us

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
O King of the nations,
You are the headstone of the glorious hall of creation.
You are the firm mortar which holds the building together.
Throughout the earth people marvel at your works.
But now the building is being reduced to a ruin by greed and fear:
 
Reveal yourself to mankind, 
    show yourself as the ruler of the world,
    demonstrate the power of your love.
 
O just and faithful King,
    you can unlock the prison-house of sin,
    and let us out into the glorious freedom of love.
Now we sit in darkness,
    grieving over the wrongs we have committed.
We long for the sun,
    we yearn for the warmth and brightness of your truth.
Open the gate of this prison, and lead us to your kingdom,
    which is our true home.
 
Come now, high king of heaven.  
Come to us in flesh and bone.  
Bring life to us who are weary with misery.  
Bring peace to us who are overcome with weeping,
    whose cheeks are covered with bitter salt tears.  
Seek us out, who are lost in the darkness of depression.  
Do not forget us, but show mercy to us.  
Impart to us your everlasting joy,
    so that we, who are fashioned by your hands,
    may praise your glory.
 
Exeter Book, c.960,  codex of Old English poetry
___________________
 
Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
 
_____________________________
 
Where is God’s life and peace most needed in your community?
Pray that the power of Christ’s love would be revealed in this situation.

Continue reading →

Send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Savault Chapel, France, Benh LIEU SONG, CC BY-SA 4.0, Wikimedia Commons
 
Lord Jesus,
Master of both the light and the darkness,
    send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do
    seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things
    look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways
    long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy
    seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people,
    walking in darkness,
    yet seeking the light.
To you we say, “Come Lord Jesus!”

Henri Nouwen 1932 – 1996 Dutch Catholic priest and author
source
______________________

Isaiah 42:6, 16

I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;
    I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
    to be a covenant for the people
    and a light for the Gentiles

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
    along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
    and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
    I will not forsake them.
 
_____________________
 
What is one way that you can prepare your heart this Advent season? 

Be with us in our darkness

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Journey of the Three Magi to Bethlehem, Leonaert Bramer, via Wikimedia Commons
 
 
We wait in the darkness,
expectantly, longingly, anxiously, thoughtfully.
 
The darkness is our friend.
 
In the darkness of the womb,
we have all been nurtured and protected.
 
In the darkness of the womb
the Christ-child was made ready for the journey into light.
 
It is only in the darkness
that we can see the splendour of the universe –
blankets of stars, the solitary glowings of the planets.
 
It was the darkness that allowed the Magi to find the star
that guided them to where the Christ-child lay.
 
In the darkness of the night,
desert people find relief from the cruel relentless heat of the sun.
 
In the blessed desert darkness
Mary and Joseph were able to flee with the infant Jesus
to safety in Egypt.
 
In the darkness of sleep,
we are soothed and restored, healed and renewed.
 
In the darkness of sleep, dreams rise up.
God spoke to Joseph and the wise men through dreams.
God is speaking still.
 
Sometimes in the solitude of the darkness
our fears and concerns, our hopes and visions
rise to the surface.
We come face to face with ourselves
and with the road that lies ahead of us.
And in that same darkness
we find companionship for the journey.
 
In that same darkness
we sometimes allow ourselves to wonder and worry
whether the human race is going to survive.
 
And then, in the darkness
we know that you are with us, O God,
yet still we await your coming.
 
In the darkness that contains both our hopelessness and our hope,
we watch for a sign of God’s hope.
 
For you are with us, O God,
in darkness and in light.
 
James Hawes, Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa, New Zealand 
_____________________
 
 
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.
 
_____________________
 
Where is the darkest place that you have seen God move?
What did God do?