pride

sometimes I choose sin

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Ash Wednesday, Carl Spitzweg via Wikimedia Commons

 
Father – the truth about me is that often I choose sin:
    Sometimes I choose hatred.  Sometimes I choose slander.
    Sometimes I choose envy.  Sometimes I choose greed.
    Sometimes I choose pettiness.  Sometimes I choose lust.
    Sometimes I choose gossip.  Sometimes I choose pride.
    Sometimes I choose self-reliance.
    Sometimes I choose self-righteousness.
    Sometimes I choose self-aggrandizement.
    Sometimes I choose dishonesty.
    Sometimes I choose unkind words.
    Sometimes I choose to ignore the obvious needs around me.
    Sometimes I choose to hoard my resources.
    Sometimes I choose to neglect Your command to share the gospel.
The list of things I wrongly choose could go on and on.  And sometimes
I act on these things in ways that are darker than I ever care to state.
Each time I make such a choice, I choose death.
Today, I ask that You breathe life into my soul afresh
    and enable me to choose life – to choose You and Your ways.
 
Kurt Bjorklund, 1968- , American Minister and author  
 
_________________________
 
Romans 6:23
 
For the wages of sin is death,
    but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

_________________________

Question:

What is an area of sin that you are most prone to return to?

Nothing, I am nothing

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
​image via Pinterest
 
Lord, you wanted it, here I am on the ground.
I don’t even dare to rise, I don’t even dare look at you.
Nothing, I am nothing, I know it now.
Your light is terrible, Lord, and I’d like to escape it.
Since I have accepted you, you have bared my dwelling.
Every day, mercilessly, your light uncovers it,
And I see what I had never seen before.

I see the forest of my sins behind the tree that hid them.
I see innumerable roots, impossible to grasp,
I see that everything in me is an obstacle to you,
  as the smallest particle of matter blocks the sunlight
  and brings on the night.
I see the devil attacking the key-points of the fortress
  that I thought impregnable,
  and I find myself tottering and ready to fall.
I see my helplessness,
  I who thought that I could make myself of value to you.
I see that everything in me is mixed,
  and that not one of my actions is pure.
I see the infinite depth of each fault
  in the face of your infinite love.
I feel incapable of reaching a single soul,
  through the noise of my words and the wind on my gestures.
I see the Spirit blow where I haven’t toiled,
  and the grain take root where I haven’t sown.

Nothing, I am nothing, I accomplish nothing,
  I know it now.
Your light is hard, merciless, Lord.
No corner of my life and soul remain in the shadow.
Turn as I may, your light is everywhere,
And I stand naked and full of fear.

Formerly, I admitted that I was a sinner,
  that I was unworthy,
And I believed it, Lord, but didn’t know it.
In your presence I looked for some faults
  but produced only labored and feeble confessions.
Lord, it’s my whole being that kneels now
  It’s the sin that I am that asks forgiveness.

Lord, thank you for your light – I would never have known.
But, Lord, enough.  I assure you I’ve understood.
I am nothing
And you are all.

Michel Quoist, 1918 – 1997, French Catholic priest
Prayers of Life

________________

John 15:5 

I am the vine; you are the branches.
Whoever abides in me and I in him,
    he it is that bears much fruit,
    for apart from me you can do nothing

_________________________________

Question

Have you ever seen yourself as being important 
    to what God wants to accomplish?

My Ego is like a Fortress

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Photo by Margarida CSilva on Unsplash  

 
My ego is like a fortress.
I have built its walls stone by stone
To hold out the invasion of the love of God.
But I have stayed here long enough.  There is light
Over the barriers. O My God-
The darkness of my house forgive
And overtake my soul.
I relax the barriers.
I abandon all that I think I am,
All that I hope to be,
All that I believe I possess.
I let go of the past,
I withdraw my grasping hand from the future,
And in the great silence of this moment,
I alertly rest my soul.
As the sea gull lays in the wind current,
So I lay myself in the spirit of God.
My dearest human relationships,
My most precious dreams,
I surrender to His care.
All that I have called my own
I give back.  All my favorite things
Which I would withhold in my storehouse
From his fearful tyranny,
I let go.
I give myself
Unto Thee, O my God.
    Amen.

Howard Thurman, 1899-1981, African-American theologian civil rights leader
Say Amen! The African American Family’s Book of Prayers

______________________

Psalm 51:17

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

______________________
 
Questions:

When you project your own ego, what do you think it looks like to other people?    

To God?

Sin’s True Colors

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
Lord God,
when the devil presents the bait,
    show us the hook.
When the devil presents the golden cup
    show the poison hidden inside.
When the devil presents the sweet pleasure of sin,
    show us the misery that will follow.
When the devil presents the profit of yielding to sin,
    show us the wrath that comes from committing it.
When Satan promises the soul honor and profit,
    give us eyes to see the shame and loss he delivers.
Strengthen our resolve
    that we keep at the greatest possible distance from sin,
    and not play with the golden bait held out by Satan.
 
May we tremble at sin, and keep our distance from it.
Give us eyes to see that sin is a bitter sweet
    whose sweetness quickly vanishes,
     replaced by lasting shame, sorrow, horror and terror.
May we fear to lose
    that divine favor that is better than life,
        that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory,
            that peace that passes understanding,
                those divine influences by which our souls
                are refreshed, raised and gladdened.
 
Help us to see when Satan paints sin with virtue’s colors:
    when pride is called neatness and cleanliness,
    when covetousness is called good stewardship,
    when drunkenness is called good company,
    when a lack of self-control is called liberality,
    and when wild living is called youthful tricks.
Help us to see through the deceits of sin.
Help us to see sin as one day we will see it:
    when what once appeared sweet will appear most bitter,
    what once appeared beautiful will appear most ugly,
    what once appeared delightful will appear most dreadful.
 
Gracious Father, may we reckon the true price of our sin:
    that it cost the best blood, the noblest blood,
        the life-blood, the heart-blood of our Lord Jesus.
 
Thomas Brooks, 1608–1680, English Puritan preacher and author
 
_____________________________
 

Submit yourselves therefore to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
 

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receiving with humility

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

photo by KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA via Pexels

 
What do we have heavenly Father,
    that we have not received from you?
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
    coming down from the Father of lights.
And because everything we have is yours 
    – whether for body or soul –
    how can we be proud, boasting about things 
    that are not even our own?
And as you give, so you are also able to take away again.
And you will, when your gifts are abused, won’t you?
If we fail to acknowledge that you are the giver?
 
So take away all my arrogance and pride.
Instead, graft in true humility, 
    so I may know that you are the giver of all good things,
    and be thankful for them,
    and use them for your glory and the good of my neighbor.
Grant also that I may not glory in earthly creatures,
    but in you alone.
You bring mercy, equity, and righteousness on earth,
    and to you alone be all glory, amen.
 
Thomas Becon, 1511–1567, English Protestant reformer Norfolk
 
______________________________
 
 
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, 
    coming down from the Father of lights, 
    with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change

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Forgive our sin, O Lamb of God

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Lamb of God, via Flickr, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 DEED
 
 
The sins of the world,
such dreadful sins.
not just the personal sins
but the solidarity of sin
greater than the total
    of individual sin
nuclear evil in endless fission,
    O Lamb of God.
 
The sin of racial pride
that sees not the faith
    that all men are divinely made
nor the riches of pigment
    in portrait faces,
the same psychology
and religious search,
that each is the sibling
    for whom Christ died.
 
The burgeoning greed
    that never heeds the needs of others
involved in a merciless system,
looking only at profit and dividend,
the last of possessions
    that cannot accompany us
    at our last migration:
Take away these sins,
    O Lamb of God.
 
The massive sin of war,
    millions of lives impersonally destroyed,
billions of pounds wasted
    on weapons, bombs,
    truth enslaved,
    the hungry still unfed,
    grief stalking unnumbered homes:
Weep over us,
    O Lamb of God.
 
The sin of the world,
    alienation from thee
    not just weakness
    but evil intention,
organized and unrestrained
    with its own momentum
    leading to death:
O Lamb of God,
    take away this sin.
 
Begin with me,
O Lamb of God,
    forgive my sins,
    cleanse my heart,
    disarm my will
    and let me fight
    armed with thy truth, righteousness and love
    with thy cross of love
    incised upon my heart,
        O Lamb of God.
 
George Appleton, 1902-1993, Anglican Bishop in England and Jerusalem
 
________________________
 
 
The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, 
“Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
 

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prayer for humility in light of future glory

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image, Alberto Fernandez Fernandez, CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons
 
 
Grant, Almighty God,
    since you have not only created me out of nothing,
  but intend to create me again in your only begotten Son;
    and since you have taken me from the lowest depths,
  so that you may raise me to the hope of your heavenly kingdom:
Grant, I pray,
   that I may not be proud or puffed up with conceit;
  but may embrace your favor with humility,
    and submit myself to you in simplicity,
  until at last I become a partaker of that glory
    your only begotten Son has acquired for me.
Amen.
 
John Calvin
_________________
 
 
We all, with unveiled faces, 
    are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord 
    and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory;
 this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.
 

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the unity of your Church

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image / Psalm 133 by Kyle Ragsdale / Bellwether Arts
 
O God, 
    whose will it is that all your children should be one in Christ;
    we pray for the unity of your Church.
Pardon all our pride and our lack 
    of faith, of understanding, and of charity,
    which are the causes of our divisions.
Deliver us from narrow-mindedness,
    from our bitterness, from our prejudices.
Save us from considering as normal
    that which is a scandal to the world
    and an offense to your love.
Teach us to recognize the gifts of grace 
    among all those who call upon you 
    and confess the faith of Jesus Christ our Lord.
 
French Reformed Church
 
_____________________________
 
 
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
    when brothers dwell in unity!
It is like the precious oil on the head,
    running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
    running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
    which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
    life forevermore.
 

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I want to stop running

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image / pxfuel
 
Eternal God, you are a song amid silence,
    a voice out of quietness,
    a light out of darkness,
    a Presence in the emptiness,
    a coming out of the void.
You are all of these things and more.
You are mystery that encompasses meaning,
    meaning that penetrates mystery.
You are God,
    I am man.
I strut and brag.
I put down my fellows
    and bluster out assortments of my achievements.
And then something happens:
    I wonder who I am,
        and if I matter.
Night falls,
    I am alone in the dark and afraid.
Someone dies,
    I feel so powerless.
A child is born,
    I feel touched by the miracle of new life.
At such moments I pause . . .
    to listen for a song amid the silence,
    a voice out of stillness,
    to look for a light out of darkness.
I want to feel a Presence in the emptiness.
I find myself reaching for a hand. 
 
Oftentimes, the feeling passes quickly,
    and I am on the run again:
        success to achieve,
        money to make.
O Lord, you have to catch me on the run
    most of the time.
I am too busy to stop,
    too important to pause for contemplation.
I hold up too big a section of the sky
    to sit down and meditate.
But even on the run,
    an occasional flicker of doubt assails me,
And I suspect I may not be as important 
        to the world
     as I think I am.
Jesus said each of us is important to you.
It is as if every hair of our heads were numbered.
How can that be?
But in the hope that is is so,
I would stop running,
        stop shouting,
    and be myself.
 
Let me be still now.
Let me be calm.
Let me rest upon the faith that you are, God,
    and I need not be afraid. Amen.
 
Kenneth G. Phifer, Presbyterian minister and author
 
__________________________________
 
 
Come, behold the works of the Lord,
    how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth!”

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the royal way of humility

/ Eric Mathews / 1 Comment
image / Wilrooij, CC BY-SA 4.0 / Wikimedia Commons
 
My dear Lord and Savior, I come to you burdened and oppressed by many worries and slavish work, by an unbearable yoke, which I have imposed on myself because of my lack of humility.
 
It is a burden which I have deserved, but it is also the heavy yoke of a sinful world, of collective pride and arrogance.  We are tied together in this lamentable condition.  I groan and sigh, realizing my plight in this double slavery of mine and the world.  What a relief if I listen to your invitation, “Come to me all whose load is heavy”! Yes, now I dare to come.
 
The more I meditate on the crushing burdens you have carried in your humility, accepting even the most atrocious humiliation from proud and arrogant human beings, the more I am filled with grateful wonder.  In your divine glory and your human humility you are totally Other, so different from the close-minded and high-handedness of man.  You are the wholly Other, the only true God, so unlike man-made gods.  You have come into the valley of tears where misery is constantly multiplied by humankind’s ridiculous pride.  You come with the astonishing remedy, the humility of the Son of God, of the Redeemer, who has freely made himself “one-of-us” in all things except sin: the totally holy and humble One.
 
You come to us whose vanity and pride are odious.  You come on the royal road of humility, showing us that this is the way to you and to the heart of the Father, the way to the hearts of our fellow men and the way of salvation.
 
Humble heart of our Divine Master, I entrust myself to your school.  I want to learn from you, day by day, the royal way of humility.  It is your own love that teaches us.  
 
Lord, transform our hearts, make them mirror images of your own heart.  Make them fountains of healing for many.  Lord, make us humble.
 
Bernard Häring 1912 – 1998, German Catholic moral theologian
 
____________________
 
 
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature[a] God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 
 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!
 

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