repentance

a broken, divided family

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Prodigal Son by Fr. Sieger Koder

 
We are a broken, divided family
of lonely individuals,
each alone;
truly, we’re not a family.
Communication with each other
seems impossible,
and love vanishes into the void.
Yet both are what we desperately need.
We all need and want
each other,
but we’re too proud to admit it,
or to confess
what we’re each to blame
for our separation,
loneliness, and pain.
We add brick upon brick
to the wall that divides
and isolates us.

You alone are our hope,
O God of our salvation.
Your love breaks down
walls that isolate and divide us.
Your love heals, forgives,
and makes us whole again.
Restore us, O God of our salvation.
Reconcile us,
that we may be a family,
and live.

Vienna Cobb Anderson, Episcopal Priest from Virginia
The Complete Book of Christian Prayer
 
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Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. 
When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.  
So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 
    ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, 
    ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf 
     because he has him back safe and sound.’
The older brother became angry and refused to go in. 
So his father went out and pleaded with him. 
But he answered his father, 
    ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you 
     and never disobeyed your orders. 
    Yet you never gave me even a young goat 
     so I could celebrate with my friends. 
    But when this son of yours 
     who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, 
     you kill the fattened calf for him!’
 
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Question

What relationships are broken 
    and need God to work restoration and reconciliation?

you call me back to atone

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Return of the Prodigal Son, Rembrandt via Wikimedia commons
 
 
You call me back to atone,
to return,  
when you see how I’ve drifted
and gone away…

I stray from knowing your holy presence,
but you never take your eyes off me;
you take not even one step away:
you’re beside me, behind me,
above and below me,
you’re with me, Lord, on all sides…
 
But it only takes a turn of my heart,
a twist of my thoughts
in the blink of an eye
for me to forget (or do I fear?)
how close you are in every hour
of every night and day…

I stray from your love
though you’re so close at hand
and believe, in self-pity
you no longer care…
 
I choose my own way
as you walk by my side;
you follow my steps
as I turn from your path…
 
I want my own way
and insist that I’m right;
I assign you the blame
as I count my troubles…

But you stay by my side
and give me the freedom
to take your hand or walk away
in my foolishness and my fear…
And still you remain,
right by my side,
though I close my eyes
to yours seeking mine…

But you call me back, to atone, to return,
and with all my heart, I know you’re right:
I’ve drifted, I’ve strayed, I’ve gone away,
I’m lost and need to be found…
 
Give the grace, Lord, to turn my heart,
to turn my mind and thoughts to you;
to remember and trust how close you are,
how near’s the mercy you offer…
 
Call me back to atone and return
to the outstretched arms of your love
and ready my heart to be shaped again
in the image of your heart for me…
Amen.
 
Fr. Austin Fleming, Roman Catholic Priest in Massachusetts
concordpastor.blogspot.com

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Luke 15:20
 
So he returned home to his father.
And while he was still a long way off,
    his father saw him coming.
Filled with love and compassion,
    he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

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Question:

When you’ve felt guilty and fearful towards God, 
    what difference would it make to know that God is near and close by,
    waiting for you to turn towards him and make things right?

Have mercy on me, O God

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Good Samaritan, Aimé Morot, via Wikimedia Commons
 
I am the man who fell among thieves,
   even my own thoughts;
they have covered all my body with wounds,
   and I lie beaten and bruised,
But come to me, O Christ my Savior, and heal me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

The priest saw me first,
   but passed by on the other side;
the Levite looked on me in my distress,
   but despised my nakedness.
O Jesus, sprung from Mary, do Thou come to me and take pity on me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

O Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of all,
   take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

It is time for repentance: to Thee I come, my Creator.
Take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.


Frederica Mathewes-Green, 1952- , American Orthodox author and speaker
_____________________

Ephesians 2:3-6

All of us used to live that way, 
    following the passionate desires and inclinations 
    of our sinful nature. 
By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, 
    just like everyone else.

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 
    that even though we were dead because of our sins, 
    he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. 
(It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 
For he raised us from the dead along with Christ 
    and seated us with him in the heavenly realms
    because we are united with Christ Jesus.

_________________________

Question

What is an area of your life where you need to cry out to God
     for mercy and forgiveness?

I approach with boldness

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
​I am not worthy, Master and Lord,
   that You should enter under the roof of my soul:
yet inasmuch as You desire to live in me as the lover of mankind
   I approach with boldness.
You have commanded: let the doors be opened
   which You alone have made
   and You shall enter with Your love for mankind just as You are.
You shall enter and enlighten my darkened reasoning,
   I believe you will do this.

For You did not cast away the prostitute who came to You with tears,
   neither did You turn away the tax collector who repented,
   nor did You reject the thief who acknowledged Your kingdom,
   nor did You forsake the repentant persecutor, the Apostle Paul, even as he was.
But all who came to You in repentance You united to the ranks of Your friends,
   Who alone are blessed forever, now and unto the endless ages. Amen.

St John Chrysostom, c.349-407, Archbishop of Constantinople
The Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom: Orthodox Service Books

_________________

Hebrews 4:14-16

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven,
   Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses,
   for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us
   when we need it most.
 
________________
 
Question
 
When you’ve felt guilty and convicted of sin, how have you approached God?

God, we greet your coming in Jesus Christ

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Altarpiece of the Seven Joys of Mary, c 1480 France, via Wikimedia Commons
 
We greet your coming, God, with wonder:
You come to be with us;
    yet you remain far greater than we can imagine.
You are near;
    yet your wisdom sets you apart from us.
You appear among us;
    yet we cannot describe your glory.

We greet your coming, God, with repentance:
We are more or less satisfied with ourselves;
    but your presence exposes our sin and failure.
We are self-confident;
    but you challenge our confidence in ourselves.
We are proud of our understanding;
    but you show us that we do not know everything.

We greet your coming, God, with joy:
We had no true idea of what you are like;
    but you have shown us yourself in Jesus Christ.
We felt our human life could be of no importance to you;
    but you have shown its value by appearing among us as a man.
We are aware of the gulf between us and you;
    but you have bridged it with love.

God, we greet your coming in Jesus Christ our Lord!

Caryl Micklem 1925 – 2003 English Reformed minister
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Psalm 77:11-14

I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
    and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
    What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders
    you have made known your might among the peoples.
 
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How can you greet the coming of Jesus with wonder, repentance, and joy?

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Waiting in the Wilderness

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
 
 
​Wilderness is the place of Moses,

    a place of no longer captive and not yet free,
    of letting go and learning new living.
Wilderness is the place of Elijah,
    a place of silence and loneliness,
    of awaiting the voice of God and finding clarity.
 Wilderness is the place of John,
    a place of repenting,
    of taking first steps on the path of peace.
Wilderness is the place of Jesus,
    a place of preparation,
    of getting ready for the reckless life of faith.

We thank you, God, for the wilderness.
Wilderness is our place.
As we wait for the land of promise,
    teach us the ways of new living,
    lead us to where we hear your word most clearly,
    renew us and clear out the wastelands of our lives,
    prepare us for life in the awareness of Christ’s coming
        when the desert will sing
        and the wilderness will blossom as the rose.

Francis Brienen, United Reformed Church, UK
The Complete Book of Christian Prayers

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Isaiah 40:3-5

A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
    make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
    and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
    and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
    and all flesh shall see it together,
    for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

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enlighten us to see the beam

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Parable of the Mote and the Beam, Domenico Fetti, via Wikimedia Commons

 
Lord, enlighten us to see the beam that is in our own eye,
    and blind us to the mote that is in our brother’s.  
Let us feel our offences with our hands,
    make them great and bright before us like the sun,
    make us eat them and drink them for our diet.  
Blind us to the offences of our beloved,
    cleanse them from our memories,
    take them out of our mouths forever.  
Help us at the same time with the grace of courage,
    that none of us be cast down when we sit lamenting
    amid the ruins of our happiness or our integrity:
Touch us with fire from the altar,
    that we may be up and doing to rebuild our city.

Robert Louis Stevenson, 1850-1894, Scottish Novelist, published by his wife
The HarperCollins Book of Prayers


Matthew 7:3-4

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, 
    but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 
Or how can you say to your brother, 
    ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ 
     when there is the log in your own eye? 

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you call me back, to atone, to return

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Photo by Bro. Jeffrey  Pioquinto, SJ, CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons
 
 
You call me back to atone,
to return,  
when you see how I’ve drifted
and gone away…

I stray from knowing your holy presence,
but you never take your eyes off me;
you take not even one step away:
you’re beside me, behind me,
above and below me,
you’re with me, Lord, on all sides…
 
But it only takes a turn of my heart,
a twist of my thoughts
in the blink of an eye
for me to forget (or do I fear?)
how close you are in every hour
of every night and day…

I stray from your love
though you’re so close at hand
and believe, in self-pity
you no longer care…
 
I choose my own way
as you walk by my side;
you follow my steps
as I turn from your path…
 
I want my own way
and insist that I’m right;
I assign you the blame
as I count my troubles…

But you stay by my side
and give me the freedom
to take your hand or walk away
in my foolishness and my fear…
And still you remain,
right by my side,
though I close my eyes
to yours seeking mine…

But you call me back, to atone, to return,
and with all my heart, I know you’re right:
I’ve drifted, I’ve strayed, I’ve gone away,
I’m lost and need to be found…
 
Give the grace, Lord, to turn my heart,
to turn my mind and thoughts to you;
to remember and trust how close you are,
how near’s the mercy you offer…
 
Call me back to atone and return
to the outstretched arms of your love
and ready my heart to be shaped again
in the image of your heart for me…
Amen.
 
Fr. Austin Fleming, Roman Catholic Priest in Massachusetts
 
______________________________
 
 
So he returned home to his father. 
And while he was still a long way off, 
    his father saw him coming. 
Filled with love and compassion, 
    he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

Continue reading →

mourning my sin

/ Eric Mathews / 2 Comments

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

 
Eternal Father,
You are good beyond all thought,
    but I am vile, wretched, miserable, blind;
My lips are ready to confess,
    but my heart is slow to feel,
    and my ways reluctant to amend.
I bring my soul to you;
    break it, wound it, bend it, mold it.
Unmask to me sin’s deformity,
    that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.
My natural abilities have been a weapon of revolt against you;
    as a rebel I have misused my strength,
    and served the foul adversary of your kingdom.
 
Give me grace to mourn my unconscious folly.
Grant me to know that the way of transgressors is hard,
    that evil paths are wretched paths,
    that to depart from you is to lose all good.
I have seen the purity and beauty of your perfect law,
    the happiness of those in whose hearts you reign,
    the calm dignity of the walk to which you call,
         yet I daily violate and condemn your precepts.
 
All these sins I mourn, lament, and for them cry pardon.
Work in me a more profound and abiding repentance;
Give me the fullness of a godly grief that trembles and fears,
    yet ever trusts and loves,
    which is ever powerful and ever confident;
Grant that through the tears of repentance may see more clearly
    the brightness and glories of your saving cross.
 
 
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Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, 
    but worldly sorrow brings death. 
See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: 
    what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, 
    what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. 

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to learn repentance and avoid sin

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

Photo by fauve othon on Unsplash

 
Lord Christ, grant to us your servants 
    the blessing of learning the discipline of repentance.
And as we learn repentance, 
    it is also good for us to learn to avoid sin –
    so we will have no need to repent.
 
Those who have escaped a shipwreck 
    generally tend to avoid ships and the sea in the future.
By keeping fresh the memory of disaster,
    they honor the second chance you gave them.
They honor their deliverance,
    and are not willing to tempt your mercy all over again.
 
We have escaped once.
Now let us allow ourselves to experience sin’s danger that far only –
    and no farther!
Even if it seems that chances are good for us to escape a second time.
 
Tertullian, c. 155 AD – c. 220 AD, Theologian from Carthage, North Africa
 
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I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, 
    for I know it was painful to you for a little while. 
Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, 
    but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. 
It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, 
    so you were not harmed by us in any way. 
For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin 
    and results in salvation. 
There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. 
But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
 

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