thoughts

Evening Prayer of Forgiveness

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Repentance of Mary Magdalene and Peter, El Greco, via Wikimedia Commons
 
O Lord Jesus Christ . . . .
    be merciful and forgive me, Your unworthy servant,
    if somehow I have sinned this day as a human,
    or rather as an inhuman.
Forgive my voluntary and involuntary sins,
    the ones I committed in knowledge or in ignorance,
    the ones that have been done
    out of evil influences and carelessness
    and my great indolence and negligence.
Forgive me, O Lord,
    if I have taken an oath by Your holy name
    or if I have violated my oath;
    if I have sworn in my mind
    or if I have somehow irritated You;
    if I have stolen
    or if I have lied;
    if a friend came to me and I ignored him
    or if I have distressed and embittered my brother . . . .
    if I looked upon vain beauty
    and my mind was attracted by it;
    if I was overly talkative about improper things
    or if I busied myself with faults of my brother
    and condemned him
    while overlooking my own innumerable faults;
    if I have neglected my prayer
    of if I have brought to mind any other evil thing.
Forgive me, O God,
    your useless servant,
    all these and whatever other things
    I have done and do not remember.
Have mercy on me, O Lord,
    for You are good and You love mankind,
    so that I, the prodigal one,
    may go to bed and fall asleep
    glorifying You,
    together with the Father
    and Your all-holy, good and life-creating Spirit,
    now and ever and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.

St. Ephrem the Syrian c. 306-378, Syrian hymn writer and theologian

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Psalm 130:1-4

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
     Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
    to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
    Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
    so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
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Question

Thinking though today, what is something you did or didn’t do that you could ask forgiveness for?

Have mercy on me, O God

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Good Samaritan, Aimé Morot, via Wikimedia Commons
 
I am the man who fell among thieves,
   even my own thoughts;
they have covered all my body with wounds,
   and I lie beaten and bruised,
But come to me, O Christ my Savior, and heal me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

The priest saw me first,
   but passed by on the other side;
the Levite looked on me in my distress,
   but despised my nakedness.
O Jesus, sprung from Mary, do Thou come to me and take pity on me.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

O Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of all,
   take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.

It is time for repentance: to Thee I come, my Creator.
Take from me the heavy yoke of sin,
   and in Thy compassion grant me remission of sins.

   Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me.


Frederica Mathewes-Green, 1952- , American Orthodox author and speaker
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Ephesians 2:3-6

All of us used to live that way, 
    following the passionate desires and inclinations 
    of our sinful nature. 
By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, 
    just like everyone else.

But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 
    that even though we were dead because of our sins, 
    he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. 
(It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 
For he raised us from the dead along with Christ 
    and seated us with him in the heavenly realms
    because we are united with Christ Jesus.

_________________________

Question

What is an area of your life where you need to cry out to God
     for mercy and forgiveness?

God, help me with my thoughts!

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment

book cover of “Scattered Thoughts of a Disorganized Mind” by Andrea Koerner

God help me with my thoughts!
They stray from me, setting off on their wildest journeys.
When I am in church, they run off like naughty children,
   quarreling, making trouble.
When I read the Bible, they fly to a distant city,
   filled with beautiful women.
My thoughts can cross an ocean with a single leap;
   they can fly from earth to heaven,
   and back again, in a single second.
They come to me for a fleeting moment,
   and then away they flee.
No chain, no locks can hold them back;
   no threats of punishment can restrain them,
   no hiss of a lash can frighten them.
They slip from my grasp like tails of eels;
   they swoop hither and thither like swallows in flight.
Dear, chaste Christ, who can see into every heart and read every mind,
   take hold of my thoughts.
Bring my thoughts back to me,
   and clasp me to yourself.
 
Celtic prayer, c.450-c.700
 
_____________________
 
 
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
 
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any wicked way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.
 
_____________________
 
Questions:

What do you need God to do in your thought life?
Can you ask God to heal your diseased imagination?

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Defend the cradle of my mind

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Three Wise Men, by Henry Ossawa Tanner, via Wikimedia Commons
 
Come closer to me, closer still, O Power of the Holy Trinity.  
Enter into my consciousness more deeply 
    than thoughts and emblems of the world can.
In the same way as a wise mother, when she conceives,
    prepares and embellishes a cradle for her child,
    so prepare and embellish my mind for that which will be begotten from You,
    O Beauty and Purity.

Many evil thoughts lurk like serpents around the cradle of Your Son.
And many wicked desires emerge from my heart and seek the cradle of Your Prince,
    to poison Him with their arrows.

Defend the cradle of my mind,
    and teach my soul how to give birth and care for an infant.

Shroud in deep darkness 
    the journey of all malevolent visitors coming to see my newborn son.
And raise aloft a most radiant star 
    over the way of the Wise Men from the East,
    men who are truly wise, 
    because they are coming to visit my most precious child with three gifts—
    faith, hope, and love.

Come closer to me, still closer, my majestic Lord.

Nikolai Velimirovich 1881-1956 Serbian Orthodox monastic
Prayers by the Lake, source, edited
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Matthew 2:9-12

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, 
    and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them 
   until it stopped over the place where the child was. 
When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 
On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, 
    and they bowed down and worshiped him. 
Then they opened their treasures 
    and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. 
And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, 
    they returned to their country by another route.
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How is your mind vulnerable to harmful thought patterns?
How can reflecting on the personhood of Jesus help protect your thought life?

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to sweep out the corners

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
image by Louis Henri de Fontenay
 
 
God, we come
with hesitant steps
and uncertain motives
to sweep out the corners
where sin has accumulated,
and uncover the ways
we have strayed from Your truth.
 
Expose the empty and barren places
where we don’t allow you to enter.
Reveal our half-hearted struggles
where we have been indifferent
to the suffering of others.
 
Nurture the faint stirrings of new life,
where your spirit has begun to grow.
Let your healing light transform us
into the image of Your Son.
For You alone can bring new life
and make us whole.
 
Christine Sine, Australian physician and contemplative activist
 
_______________________________
 
 
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

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order my day, merciful God

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
The Apotheosis of Saint Thomas Aquinas, Francisco de Zurbarán, Wikimedia Commons
 
 
Most merciful God, 
  order my day so that I may know what you want me to do,
    and then help me to do it.
Let me not be elated by success or depressed by failure.
I want to take pleasure in what pleases you,
    and only to grieve at what displeases you.
For the sake of your love I would willingly forgo all temporal comforts.
May all the joys in which you have no part weary me.
May all the work which you do not prompt be tedious to me.
Let my thoughts frequently turn to you,
    that I may be obedient to you without complaint,
    patient without grumbling,
    cheerful without solemnity.
Let me hold you in awe without feeling terrified of you,
    and let me be an example to others without any trace of pride.
 
Thomas Aquinas, 1225 – 1274, Roman Catholic philosopher and theologian
 
___________________________
 
 
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. 
Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. 
Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

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Lord, raise up my soul

/ Eric Mathews / Leave a comment
Gregory of Nazianzus, by Peter Paul Rubens via Wikimedia Commons
 
The breath of life, O Lord, seems spent.
My body is tense, my mind filled with anxiety,
Yet I have no zest, no energy.
I am helpless to allay my fears
I am incapable of relaxing my limbs.
Dark thoughts constantly invade my head,
And I have no power to resist them.
 
Was ever an oak tree buffeted by wind,
As the gales of melancholy now buffet my soul?
Was ever a ship tossed by the waves,
As my soul is now tossed by misery?
Did ever the foundation of a house crumble,
As my own life now crumbles to dust?
 
Friends no longer want to visit me.
You have driven away my spiritual brethren.
I am now an outcast from your church.
No longer the flowers want to bloom for me.
No longer the trees come into leaf for me.
No longer the birds sing at my window.
 
My fellow Christians condemn me as an idle sinner.
Lord, raise up my soul, revive my body.
 
Gregory of Nazianzus, 329-389, Archbishop of Constantinople
____________________
 
 
Hear my prayer, Lord;
    let my cry for help come to you.
Do not hide your face from me
    when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
    when I call, answer me quickly.

For my days vanish like smoke;
    my bones burn like glowing embers.
My heart is blighted and withered like grass;
    I forget to eat my food.
In my distress I groan aloud
    and am reduced to skin and bones.
I am like a desert owl,
    like an owl among the ruins.
I lie awake; I have become
    like a bird alone on a roof.
All day long my enemies taunt me;
    those who rail against me use my name as a curse.
For I eat ashes as my food
    and mingle my drink with tears
 because of your great wrath,
    for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.
My days are like the evening shadow;
    I wither away like grass.

But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever;
    your renown endures through all generations.
You will arise and have compassion on Zion,
    for it is time to show favor to her;
    the appointed time has come.
 

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