unbelief

Christ heals a Demoniac, Jean-Guillaume Carlier via Wikimedia Commons

Lord, I want to love you, yet I’m not sure.

I want to trust you, yet I’m afraid of being taken in.
I know I need you, yet I’m ashamed of the need.
I want to pray, yet I’m afraid of being a hypocrite.
I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
Take me, Lord, yet leave me alone.
Lord, I do believe; help my unbelief.
O Lord, if you are there, you do understand, don’t you?
Give me what I need but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don’t let me despair.
Come unto me, O Lord – I want you there.
Lighten my darkness – but don’t dazzle me.
Help me to see what I need to do and give me strength to do it.
O Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.

Brother Bernard SSF, 1928-2007, English Franciscan
The Oxford Book of Prayer

______________________

Mark 9:20-24

And they brought the boy to him.
And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy,
and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth.
And Jesus asked his father,
“How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood.
And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him.
But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
And Jesus said to him,
“‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said,
“I believe; help my unbelief!”

________________

Questions

When have you prayed, needing God to do something big,

but were unsure if your request was within God’s will and purpose?
Have you ever approached God with a real need but were unsure of how to pray?

The Hem of His Garment, via Pinterest

My God, I do not love you,
I do not even desire it.
I am weary of you.
Perhaps I do not even believe in you.
But look on me in passing.
Hide yourself for a moment in my soul,
put it in order by a breath
without my knowing it,
without saying a word of it to me.
If you want me to believe in you,
give me faith.
If you want me to love you,
give me love.
I do not have any and I can do nothing for it.
I give you what I have:
my weakness,
my sorrow.
And that tenderness which torments me
and that you see so well…
And that despair…
And that crazy shame…
My pain, nothing but my pain…
And my hope!
It is everything.

Marie Noël, 1883 – 1967, French Catholic poet
The Westminster Collection of Christian Prayers

____________________

Mark 5:25-34

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.

She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors

and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.

When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd

and touched his cloak, because she thought,

“If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”

Immediately her bleeding stopped

and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him.

He turned around in the crowd and asked,

“Who touched my clothes?”
“You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered,

“and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.

Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her,

came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear,

told him the whole truth.
He said to her,

“Daughter, your faith has healed you.

Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

____________________

Question

When have you been desperate for God to intervene in your life or the life of someone close to you?

prayer & verse

Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

if you want me to believe in you