darkness prayer for Holy Saturday

henri-lc3a9opold_lc3a9vy_-_the_dead_christ_with_angels
The Dead Christ with Angels, by Henri Leopold Levy / Wikimedia Commons

Lord it is dark.
Lord, are you here in my darkness?

Your light has gone out,
    and so has its reflection on men and on all things around me.
Everything seems grey and sombre
    as when a fog blots out the sun and enshrouds the earth.
Everything is an effort, everything is difficult,
    and I am heavy-footed and slow.
Every morning I am overwhelmed at the thought of another day.
I long for the end,
    I yearn for the oblivion of death.
I should like to leave,
    run away,
    flee,
    anywhere, escape.
Escape what?
You, Lord, others, myself, I don’t know.
But leave,
Flee.

I progress haltingly like a drunkard
From force of habit, unconsciously.
I go through the same motions each day,
    but I know that they are meaningless.
I walk, but I know that I get nowhere.
I speak, and my words seem dreadfully empty,
    for they can reach only human ears
    and not the living souls who are far above.
Ideas themselves escape me, and I find it hard to think.
I stammer, confused, blushing;
And I feel ridiculous and abashed, for people will notice me.
Lord, am I losing my mind?
Or is all this what you want?

It wouldn’t matter, except that I am alone.
I am alone.
You have taken me far, Lord;
    trusting, I followed you, and you walked at my side;
And now, at night, in the middle of the desert,
    suddenly you have disappeared.
I call, and you do not answer.
I search, and I do not find you.
I have left everything, and now am left alone.
Your absence is my suffering.

Lord, it is dark.
Lord, are you here in my darkness?
Where are you, Lord?
Do you love me still?
Or have I wearied you?
Lord, answer,
Answer!

It is dark.

Michel Quoist,1918 – 1997, French Catholic priest and writer

_______________________

O Lord, I cry out to you.
    I will keep on pleading day by day.
O Lord, why do you reject me?
    Why do you turn your face from me?

I have been sick and close to death since my youth.
    I stand helpless and desperate before your terrors.
Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me.
    Your terrors have paralyzed me.
They swirl around me like floodwaters all day long.
    They have engulfed me completely.
You have taken away my companions and loved ones.
    Darkness is my closest friend.

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