sometimes I wander away

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Lord, I sometimes wander away from you.
But this is not because I am deliberately turning my back on you.
It is because of the inconsistency of my mind.
I weaken in my intention to give my whole soul to you.
I fall back into thinking of myself as my own master.
But when I wander from you, my life becomes a burden,
  and within me I find nothing but
  darkness and wretchedness, fear and anxiety.
And I know you will forgive me.

Aelred of Rievaulx, 1109 – 1167, Abbot of Rievaulx in northern England


_______________

Submit yourselves, then, to God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Come near to God and he will come near to you.
Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Grieve, mourn and wail.
Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

 

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